These scouting tips should help the UMaine hockey team win at Fenway Park

As UMaine hockey gets ready to play Boston University at Frozen Fenway Saturday night, I wanted to offer a scouting report for Coach Gendron on playing at the Fens. Not that he needs my help (and he is a former catcher in his playing days). But I’ve seen a lot of games at the old ballpark and I think I can help the Bears take down those Terriers…

Scouting Tip 1 — If that puck goes right down the third baseline, it will likely hit that short wall that juts out behind the bag. If Steven Swavely is playing shortstop, make sure he goes out to short left field to get it and hold the BU player to just a single.

Scouting Tip 2 — Any puck that goes down the right-field line, make sure Connor Leen doesn’t get too close to the wall. A lot of tricky bounces around that corner. Remember Bill Buckner hobbled his way to an inside-the-park homer one day hitting a ball down there.

Scouting Tip 3 — This is for Devin Shore. When you shoot the puck, keep it high and in. I hear the BU goalie likes the puck down and away.

Scouting Tip 4 — All UMaine defensemen, remember on a puck hit off the green monster, one player goes to the wall to try to catch it, the other defenseman needs to back up the play in case of a wild carom off the scoreboard.

Scouting Tip 5 — This one is for assistant coach Ben Guite. If you’re coaching third, any puck hit to left, remember that skater at second cannot automatically score. If the BU left fielder is charging the puck, better hold up the skater at third.

Scouting Tip 6 — For Coach Gendron. After a player scores a goal, that player might want to tug on that moustache. Tugging on facial hair has become a big thing around Fenway lately.

Scouting Tip 7 — A reminder for center Cam Brown. Play a couple of skate strides deeper in center field because of that triangle out there.

Scouting Tip 8 — Goalie Martin Ouellette. Make sure to stay down on the puck. That Fenway infield can be bumpy. Just ask Edgar Renteria.

Scouting Tip 9 — Coaching staff. Mentally prepare the guys there may not be the chance to be interviewed by Jeni Dell. If you believe the recent pictures of her with Will Middlebrooks out on the town, she just doesn’t have the time for Frozen Fenway.

Scouting Tip 10 — Any on ice arguments with BU players, remember this. Bring up the names of former Black Bears Billy Swift and Mike Bordick. Remind Terrier players that their school dropped baseball.

Scouting Tip 11 — This final one is for all players. If you need some quick energy snacks for     between periods, I suggest the Fenway Franks. Bring lots of money, though.

Oh yeah.  One more thing. See if Bananas can get Wally the Green Monster on your side. He can help get fans rooting for the Black Bears! Good Luck!